I have found myself feeling friendlier lately, more positive, less cynical, happier than I've been in a long time. I used to actually attempt to sound more cynical than I already was, to be sure my friends and followers online knew I was witty and bitter."I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong. "
Leo Rosten
Now I see how ridiculous that was. Granted, when I'm honestly upset or bitter or negative, it'll probably come out. I won't hide that. But I won't pretend for the sake of an image, either. I used to be afraid to show my joy, contentment, excitement, etc. online. How silly!
What does it matter if I'm happy and that annoys you?
If it doesn't annoy me, then i'ma do it. (also, sidenote: if you post things that annoy me, I will continue to judge.)
The whole point of me posting the above quote, though, is to say how much I've loved being happy (positive, caring, gentle) lately. Feeling genuinely connected to people, when I used to hide from that... Feeling joyful and excited to see people, when before I shied away. I love it! And it's not always easy, or natural, but it feels great to see people warm up to me and the things I say/do/write/etc. It does take a genuine effort, but it's been fun. I'z learnin' to soshulize! :]
Someone told me today that one of our mutual friends always says "Aww, she's such a sweetheart!" when I'm brought up in conversation. WHAT? Never would I have guessed that he'd say that about me! But I felt so uplifted and proud of myself for finally coming off as friendly, or at least a normal person, instead of the cold/shy/harsh person I have always come across as before.
Progress.
Today I'm thankful for the little reminders of the positive impact we can all make on other people's lives.
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